I have loved Lady Gaga from the first time I heard “Just Dance”. I learned every track off of “The Fame” album, and nearly lost my mind when I heard “The Fame Monster”. I had fallen in love with that crazy bitch. Wearing meat dresses, scaring Eminem, and most of all, being a kick ass performer when pop culture was ready to let go of the lip syncing has beens (I love Britney, but there is a devastating video of her “actually” singing at her concerts, and it’s horrendous). In deed, I learned her words, I watched her music videos, in the climax of my love for her, I went to her concert in Charlotte, where my crush on mama monster flourished. She could do no wrong. Her concert was amazing, and her VMA performances were always a hit. She made every song fun, upbeat, and relatable to any white girl who’s gotten drunk at the club trying not to text her boyfriend. Yes, Gaga was an idol to most.
However, there was a gap between her Freshman album, and her Sophomore. It left a lot of people in the wait, hoping that the goddess would amaze us again. And she did. When the song “Born This Way” hit the radio, there wasn’t one person that didn’t know the words, or could look away from her naked body in the music video. Not only was it a strong message, but it made everyone sing and dance their hearts out to her again. Yes, Gaga had struck pop culture gold once again. We all waited for her album to finally be released, but she teased us like an awkward teenage girl. We were demanding to hear more, but she would only release one track every few weeks. I have to admit, I loved You and I, and Marry the Night really was a fantastic song. But then….Judas came out. Was it catchy…possibly. Was it what we were expecting….no. I was hoping she wasn’t going to dip her toe in the politics of religion and pop culture. Please Gaga, you wrote a song about going on a ride on someone’s disco stick; let’s not get carried away. But, we ignored it. Okay, so one bad apple, we could handle that. Then her album was released, and it reached iTunes records. And…of course I bought it as soon as I could.
I listened quietly in my apartment. I had the surround sound hooked up to my iPhone, and was ready to be amazed. I was ready to dance around my living room and try my hardest to crump dance like I did to “Telephone”. Born This Way was great, then Marry the Night, followed by You and I, soon after The Edge of Glory. I was a happy customer. Thank you, Gaga. This was amazing.
So, I changed pace and brought my phone to the pool and laid out to enjoy the rest of her album. However, ‘enjoy’ is not the word I would use. Songs like Bad Kids, Hair, Fashion of His Love, Heavy Metal Lover, and Electric Chapel, were terrible. I got used to Americano, but even then, we were pushing it. Could it be….my love has taken a fall. I was amazed that I paid the extra $5 to hear three remixes of two songs, which were also terrible. How could she do this. She not only crossed into how Jesus loves everyone, but she did in German, and other strange songs that I believe described the virgin Mary and, frankly, I just wanted to dance to songs that had as much meaning as Boys, Boys, Boys. She broke my heart.
And so, I listened to the songs I liked. I still watched her at the VMAs, in shock of her male character and how wonderful she was. I couldn’t help but still want to stand by her. It happens. Some albums suck. For her to get four hits off of another album, was still pretty good. You had to give it to her. She tried a new direction, just hopefully she learned from her mistake, and her third album would bring us back to the days of bubble dress and her lobster claw heals. But that was no luck either.
Well, at first, I downloaded “Applause” with complete hope. And it delivered. She did wonderful. I sang, I clapped, I enjoyed. Okay Gaga, you have my attention. The more she talked about how it was the merge of pop and art, how it was going to have artistic flair, and considering the tone of Applause, I was hoping that this album would bring us back to the pop princess that once only wore hair bows and short dresses. The humble, “Just Dance” Gaga. But I was wrong again.
The album price was $14.99 and I thought “could it really hurt…” YES. YES it could. I couldn’t believe what I was listening to. Really girl. Really. How could you write such terrible music meaning absolutely nothing, which is saying a lot considering you wrote a song about someone biting you during sex. This was terrible. Nothing BUT Applause was done write, and every other song looks like she was plucking ideas out of the “Worst Song Ideas” tree. I have to say, I’m completely disappointed. I can’t believe this woman I thought I would listen to till the end of the Earth, has completely fizzled out.
Good bye Gaga, I can no longer be in this one way, abusive relationship. It’s toxic and costly to my iTunes account and it’s my feelings that you keep making promises you can’t deliver. So long my love.