I know I haven’t wrote in a long time. Between having my head up my school’s ass and Riley starting to move, I was more afraid to start to write than anything else. Such as I begin a thought and Riley breaks the toilet set lid (which she did, she really, really did). Or begin to type and she chooses to climb through the computer desk and try to pull the iMac down (again, she’s just a crafty little one). There are so many joys though to having this independent, exploring, playful baby. She likes to play by herself mostly, which is quite nice for when my procrastination can’t hold out any longer. I’ve baby proofed as much as possible, but she always manages to find something, somewhere, and it usually goes in her mouth (a shoe, Fitz’s tail, an iPod cord). So as much as I would love the silence, it’s more of an anxious one, with one ear and eye on the computer trying to focus, and the others waiting to hear a crash. She’s figuring things out too which scares me. Like that her tooth bottom teeth can be used as a pry bar, that baby wipes clean her hands, and where we keep her veggie puffs. She’s becoming this little person and it’s more scary to watch than anything else.
I know I’m not the most fantastic, maternal woman in the world. I love my kid, I know how to keep her happy and her butt clean which are some of the more demanding tasks while parenting. I want to introduce her to new foods and see how she’ll react to them, so I joined a group on Facebook that was called “Baby Led Weening for June 2012 Babies”. PERFECT! It’s what I need. I need to know that other babies didn’t choke and die on some bananas, or that feeding your kid some pot roast isn’t the worst thing. As I stayed on the page, I noticed A LOT, I mean at least 7 women, posting pictures of their little ones, mind you Riley’s age, so about 9 months, mowing down on some chicken nuggets, McGriddles, and burgers. At first I thought, damn those look fucking good, why am I hungry all of sudden. And then the second thought came, “Hold up, are these bitches feeding their babies shitty fast food that has been told time and time again that not even adults should consider entering into their mouths.” Yes, Caroline, yes they are. I couldn’t believe it! The more I searched the page, the more pizza, nuggets, burgers, fries, ice cream, cookies, cake, and other shit hole foods were being fed to these little ones. I literally couldn’t keep my bottom jaw up. I was more surprised that there isn’t a second group from this page called “June Babies 2012 who don’t sleep due to high sugar levels, and possible blocked arteries.” Again, I’m no saint of a mom, but I’ve never even considered handing Riley fast food or stuff that I know I should be guilty eating. So, I did something I never do, ever. I found an article about the process that McNuggets go through and how horrible they are for anyone to consume (again, I’m not saying anyone reading this is an awful person for eating McNuggets, when I’m hung over I’ll destroy me some McNuggets). When I posted the article to the group, at first other moms were like I agree, I don’t think it’s fair and I’ve wanted to say something. And then, I believe a mom in the form of Satan, commented, “But babies have fast metabolisms. They can handle these things. Anything is good is small amounts. Don’t judge us cause we’re on the go and this is all we can grab when we’re packed in the car.” Again, I was left speechless. More rants from other moms defending it plagued my notifications and my post, and finally an admin from the page took it down. That whole discussion, truly made me know that, maybe I’m not the best, but I am also not the mom who fed her baby fast food today.
So another note of food, this is quite the topic I guess, Riley has discovered how to grab small things while their moving. Seems silly to people sans children, but the motor skills are still developing and so the fact she can grab the handle of the spoon, while I’m moving it, is suppose to be a good thing. Until there’s food on it. And then it’s a fucking nightmare. Any cute feeding time can turn into a massacre of your couch and clothes because a certain someone think it’s entertaining to see where your frustration level is.
I think that if I never leave this hell hole of a stay at home mom, I’m going to start to make inventions for moms. Simple things like retraints on a highchair, or little leg holders on the changing station for when your baby kicks you in the face while changing her poop diaper, or maybe I’ll sell empty water bottles and call them the newest toy for babies, since even though my kid has every toy available at the NEX my ONE water bottle, provides more entertainment.
Well I guess that’s all for today, hopefully after my finals, things will be easier and I can waste more time telling everyone about the events of my child.